On Love and Convenience

I saw a quote once, it said "Love that is not madness is not love."


Love doesn't come along when you've decided that it would be convenient. It doesn't fit into anybody's schedule, it doesn't play by anybody's rules. It rarely happens in the way we think it will. Some people fall in love with one person, and forsake all others. Some people love the world, some people fall in love with just a few people, they weren't necessarily looking for this. They just happened to be busy loving one person when another came along and took their heart, and suddenly, they found that they had two hearts, or three. One for each person they loved. You don't give someone a quarter of your love, you give them your whole heart, which sticks its finger up at maths.


Sometimes I wish that the people I love were more convenient. One of them was once, he was not only nearby, he was also deliciously kinky, fabulous in bed, a geek, a foodie, ginger, tall... And married, so I didn't have to worry that our relationship would get all heavy and deep and meaningful and people would start wanting 'more.' Then, rather inconveniently actually, I found that I was lost, it was too late, I loved him. It took me a while to come to terms with that, a while to realise that love doesn't have to be the end of the world. It can be the beginning. Inconvenience was moving to the other side of the Atlantic. Inconvenience is being so far away from him that I have spent nights wishing that I could teleport someone to my bed just by my need for them. 


I fell in love again on this side of the Atlantic. He didn't have to tie me up to catch me, but don't tell him, he might stop tying me up, and I never want that to happen, ever. I love him and I'm so far away, a six hour journey's worth it though, to see him smile, to be in his arms. Convenience? Where? I think I've made a habit of inconvenience in the people I love. Maybe one day I'll fall in love with a boy (or girl) next door. But not today. 


Inconvenience does at least have its positives. You can't take something for granted if it's inconvenient, if it's hard sometimes, if it demands that you care for it. You have to want it, sometimes you have to fight for it, sometimes you have to defend it, and it reminds you every time you see it that it's worth every tear and every step of the journey you took. If something was too convenient, too easy, wouldn't you take it for granted? Wouldn't you go looking for something which would challenge you a little? Be a bit more exciting? I think I for one will be happy for married high school sweet hearts, and people next door. I will take my inconvenient, wonderful people, and I will love them will all of my hearts. 


Love is inconvenient. But, contrary to what I once thought; it's worth it. A thousand times over.