Definition

Sometimes a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. Sometimes you're not sure about that. Sometimes in order to be able to enjoy smelling the thing, you need to have a name for it. Sometimes 'that sweet smelling red plant' isn't enough. 


I find myself in one of those situations now. I have a something with a someone. I don't know what it is, I'm not sure I need to, I maybe helped make things a little messy last time by pushing the thing into a box and making it fit (sort of), but it needs more form than it currently has.


Currently, and let's think in FetLife terms here, because, let's face it, your relationship doesn't count until you've put it on your FetLife page, I think we're between 'It's complicated' and 'Masochist/Sadist to' each other. I think that could work for me. Complicated sounds like a good way to put the slightly amorphous still developing 'something' that we have. But if it's 'complicated' what are the rules? Do we need rules in the first place? Assuming that rules, or at least some kind of piratical 'guidelines' are required, how should we decide them? Who makes the first suggestion? Him because he's the 'Top' or me because I'm the one who'll have to follow whatever protocols we agree upon. Does one call one's complicated person Sir? Or do we revert to first names which no longer seem quite right? If we do stick with Sir and pet, how do we stop ourselves, out of habit, slipping back into the roles we've held for what seems like so long, and thus repeating the pattern?


For now at least, I have a thing with a guy (ok, a couple of things with a couple of people of varying genders, but we're talking about this one right now) and I love him, and he loves me, and we can't (and possibly wouldn't if we could) change that fact. All we can do is try to keep adapting within the blobby, slightly sticky relationship thing, and keep adapting it so that it looks good to both of us, although it will probably still be blobby and amorphous, and slightly sticky. And yes, it's sticky for exactly the reason you're thinking (although it might also be butter-cream icing).


Relationships; who'd have 'em?